Tell Me What's Real

Today, i couldn't let it pass to write how it feels to be caught up with mixed emotions. In all honesty, i felt my heart breaking. It's when you least expect something to see, it just comes in banging in your eyes unexpectedly. I had no reservations in trusting someone i love. So when it beacons to me that something is going on beyond my knowledge that concerns me, my vote of confidence shatters. Now i feel pretty weak, physically and emotionally. I don't know if i am to go on trusting someone i love upon knowing something is being hidden from me. I don't know if would it really come upon my knowledge someday or was it only said that i would eventually get to know of it when all things are in place for my viewing. I must admit i have been stupid with my past relationship, where i have given my full trust and later discovered that he was just making a fool of me. It pains me to think that it seems somewhat all happening again. The kindness being shown, the generosity being manifested, all such are just a facade of what's really deceitful beyond my sight. I am a strong believer of the phrase, "If it is meant to be, then it's meant to be." So for now, i will still go on and witness what's really going on. But the person i am the next day won't be the person i have been before with someone i have trusted my all. Yes, trust is like a glass, when it's broken, it shatters. No glue or tape can build it up again. Tonight i'll cry my pain for i felt i have trusted so much again, for the pain of discovering, what seemed so real in my eyes and in my heart is just an illusion i have only dreamed about. One thing i have been certain of, i have loved and i have given my full trust and faithfulness and loyalty to the one i loved. Come what may, whatever happens, i will never look back and say i have not done my part or i have not given my all and my best in the relationship. The quote i've read the other day was indeed an omen to prepare me for this event... "If you expect the world to be fair with you because you are fair, you're fooling yourself. That's like expecting the lion not to eat you because you didn't eat him."